Giving Feedback to Leaders
11 Tips to Successfully Offering Input to Higher-Ups
It’s hard to give feedback. It’s even harder to give feedback to leaders.
Leaders tend to be intelligent, assertive people - and, personalities aside, they’re people who are in positions of power. They often have control over the careers of the people whose feedback would be valuable, which makes it harder for those people to be honest.
Nobody wants to speak poorly about the person who can give them a raise or send them packing.
But, giving leaders feedback is necessary.
A lack of feedback can cause leadership performance to stagnate and can hinder the success of entire organizations. On the other hand, providing leaders with accurate feedback can catalyze growth, allowing them to view their performances through more comprehensive lenses and make positive changes accordingly.
So, how should you give leaders feedback?
Be unselfish.
Get context.
Frame the feedback in terms of impact, not as a character indictment.
Be specific.
Match the leader’s level of intensity.
Match the severity of the situation.
Be direct.
Don’t overuse the leader’s name.
Learn to speak the leader’s language.
Be vulnerable.
Be brave.
Obviously, the specifics of appropriate feedback vary based on context, but these tactics tend to hold true across situations. With that in mind, let’s dig into these 11 tips to giving leaders the feedback they need to thrive.
1. Be unselfish.
First, it’s important to place difficult feedback in the proper context: Feedback is unselfish. We tend to convince ourselves that the opposite is true – that by withholding difficult feedback, we’re being considerate of other people’s feelings.
Most often, though, we withhold feedback because we’re considering our own feelings.
Without the feedback, leaders will maintain blindspots that impede performance. With feedback, they’ll have a clearly defined concept of the challenge, and they may be able to course-correct.
Really, the only reason to withhold feedback is because you don’t like how it feels, not because you’re concerned for another person’s best interests. It’s difficult, but the first step toward giving better feedback is framing it in the correct light: Feedback is given for the benefit of the recipient and the organization.
When we remember that, we tend to have an easier time giving feedback – and the feedback we give tends to be more effective.
2. Get context.
Once you’ve adopted the mindset that feedback is unselfish and should be delivered unselfishly, an important step in the feedback process is to gain context to add weight to your feedback.
This helps to counteract against one of the most common methods of deflecting feedback: dismissing it as misinformed. Deflecting leaders may say things like, “You think that, but you don’t know the whole story.” Or, “Only you think that. Most people don’t.”
Before giving feedback to a leader, take the time to gather context. You should seek to understand:
The situation you’re speaking into. The challenges, background, past approaches, ongoing patterns, etc.
Whether multiple people corroborate your view. It’s much more difficult to dismiss feedback when it’s confirmed through multiple sources.
A few notes on gathering context:
Not all feedback scenarios require in-depth context. Generally, the more significant the issue, the more gathering context will help.
The most effective way to gather context is through a 360 review. 360-feedback is gathered through a series of interviews with those who regularly interface with the executive. This data is then compiled into a report that provides a summary of the relative strengths as well as specific development recommendations. Significant data is shared with the participant while carefully preserving the individual confidentiality of the respondents. Only feedback corroborated by at least three respondents is included. One-off remarks, or examples specific to one respondent are not included.
To get the most from a 360, it is important to select respondents who will provide candid feedback on the leader. Respondents should be balanced between individuals that have a strong working relationship with the participant as well as those with whom the participant may have a more difficult time working.
Ideally, participants should include:
• The leader’s boss(es)
• Three peers
• Three direct reports (if possible)
• Four internal/ external customers
When given via a 360 assessment, feedback on the leader is offered with full context. This gives it more weight.
3. Frame the feedback in terms of impact, not as a character indictment.
When the time does come to deliver feedback, don’t deliver it as a character indictment.
Brené Brown describes this approach to delivering feedback as coming from “the same side of the table.” Good feedback frames any issues by acknowledging a shared intention and encouraging a collaborative approach toward improving results.
For example, a middle manager is relationally focused but highly unorganized and, as a result, her team has been unproductive. Instead of framing the conversation as a character indictment (“You’re disorganized and it’s not working”), it’s more effective to frame things in terms of shared goals:
“I know you care about your people, and it shows. When you’re disorganized, it hurts your team’s ability to accomplish their objectives. We need to work on ways to improve your organization skills so that you and the team you’re managing can succeed.”
4. Be specific.
The worst kind of feedback is critical in a vague way. Specifics can feel uncomfortable or difficult to discuss, but they add clarity to the discussion. When you’re delivering feedback, be specific. Give real, tangible examples of where performance should be improved.
5. Match the leader’s level of intensity.
Admittedly, this tip takes some degree of experience (or intuition) to execute well. The bottom line is that feedback is most effective when it’s delivered with an intensity the leaders can process.
For instance, some people are calm, reserved, or sensitive. With these leaders, it’s likely not necessary to give feedback loudly and commandingly – in fact, if you take that approach, they may not even absorb the content of your feedback for the emotional toll it takes. You’ll have a greater impact if you bring the intensity down to a calmer level.
On the other side of the spectrum, though, are the leaders who are intense and assertive. If you take a calm approach to giving feedback to these people, they may not even register your words as requiring action; you’ll need to ramp up your volume and tone to ensure that your message is understood.
In general, read the leader’s personality, and tailor the tone of your feedback accordingly.
6. Match the severity of the situation.
In addition to reading the intensity of the individual, it’s important to gauge the severity of the situation. Some things aren’t a big deal but do require feedback. Don’t be overly harsh; just deliver what’s needed.
And again, on the other side of the spectrum, some things are very big deals. Don’t sugarcoat things – level up your intensity to convey a tone of urgency and let the leader know what’s at stake.
7. Be direct.
Everyone knows the sandwich approach to giving feedback: you say something really nice to someone, then you give them the critical feedback in the middle, and then you say something nice to finish it off. I remember reading this in textbooks in college, and it was probably in some of the courses that I taught in my last career.
But everyone knows now that it’s a thing.
Here’s the bottom line: I think people can handle the truth. I really do. I think most people are grown-ups and they can handle being told the truth. So, if you’ve got direct feedback for a leader, just give it to them. If there’s some encouragement you can add alongside that, that’s fantastic, but people - and leaders, especially - can handle the truth.
8. Don’t overuse the leader’s name.
This one’s straightforward: don’t overuse a leader’s name when giving feedback.
It comes from a theory that’s been around for 35 years or so: using people’s names builds affinity and trust. I don’t think it’s true.
When you’re giving feedback, if you say “Emily, Emily, Emily” to start each sentence, it’s not effective. It’s just off-putting.
9. Learn to speak the leader’s language.
Influence of any kind is generally built on the basis of two traits: empathy and authority. Giving effective feedback requires both of these things, and they both can be built by speaking the leader’s language.
If you know the language that’s spoken at the leader’s corporate table and are able to use it to frame your feedback, the leader is far more likely to listen. If you don’t, you’ll struggle to earn respect or gain their attention.
10. Be vulnerable.
When you give feedback to a leader, vulnerability can make it more effective.
For example, feedback can be more impactful if you bring your own feelings into the discussion, or even acknowledge that you've struggled with similar issues.
Sometimes, it’s even okay to break the fourth wall - to acknowledge the difficulty of the situation. “This may be difficult for you to hear. Honestly, it’s difficult for me to say. But after a lot of thought…”
Using this specific verbiage isn’t always the best approach (and you don’t want to undermine your feedback by being less direct). But approaches like this work because, in general, vulnerability builds trust. When vulnerability is done well, it can help to establish that you’re on the same team as the leader - that you’re on the same side of the table, looking for ways to get better results instead of looking for ways to one-up the other person.
11. Be brave.
Finally, giving feedback to leaders takes bravery.
This is the simplest instruction toward giving good feedback. It’s also the hardest.
Leaders need feedback – and they need people brave enough to give it to them. Giving feedback to leaders isn’t easy, but it’s necessary in order to fight hubris and remove the blind spots that can impede organizational success.
Want help in learning to give feedback?
We’re called to give feedback. It’s a difficult job, but it’s a critically important one. So be kind and be courageous. Your people and your organization will thank you.
And if you want help toward increasing your chances of success, get in touch with us.